Left to right: Ernie, Aliza, Chewie

BIP: I'm filling in for Wyman this week because I was worried about your cute-dog antics. Don't think you're going to get away with anything just because of your looks...I wrote the book on that, Misters. That said, Welcome to Guest Star Weekends.
CHEWIE: We ARE cute dogs and we don't need antics. Of course, on the Internet, no one knows you're a dog, so we can get away with everything. We're writing a book about that. So there.
ERNIE: Hi Bip. I'm Ernie.
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BIP: How'd you get your names?
CHEWIE: Mom saw me at Northshore Animal League (http://www.nsal.org) and she says I was so small that she wanted a really big name for me. So she called me Chewbacca. What she didn't know is that I'm a really big dog, I was just pretending that night to get her sympathy so she'd take me home. Chewie is Chewbacca's nickname, BTW.
ERNIE: I'm named after the Sesame Street character because, well, you see, Chewie is also called Chewberticus, Chewberticus Minimus, Chewbertus, and Chewbert, and Bert for short, so I'm Ernie and he's Bert. I'm also called Peanuthead and Ernicus Maximus.
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BIP: Where do you guys live?
CHEWIE: We live in a studio apartment in New York City on the Upper West Side.
ERNIE: I sleep on Mom's bed. And I go to work with Mom almost every single day. So does Chewie.
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BIP: What's it like being a little dog in the big city?
CHEWIE: Little? Who're you calling little?
ERNIE: Chewie protects us all with his very mean bark. You see, I have no teeth, just my four fangs, so I can't really get into a fight. But I can bark really really loud and deep, sort of my Great Dane bark. But mostly Chewie curses at all the dogs and people who pass us so they run away.
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BIP: Have you ever run into big dog trouble on your walks?
CHEWIE: Those big dogs just better watch out for me!
ERNIE: One night, when Mom was sick with a fever, she brought us outside without our leashes on and then those big wolf German Shepard humongous dogs walked by and Chewie ran into the middle of them to tell them what's what. And their Mom was shouting "Get him, quick. They'll hurt him!" And our Mom ran into the middle of the whole thing, jumped on top of Chewie and sat on him. Chewie kept yelling "Let me at 'em. Let me at 'em" but Mom held onto his tail and the big dogs went away. I once got trapped by the elevator in the apartment. Mom dropped my leash as she and Chewie got into the elevator and there was a dog in there so Chewie went crazy and then the doors closed and then I was out in the hall and my leash was stuck in the door. Luckily, I wear a harness and not a neck collar and also luckily I'm double jointed so I made like Houdini and slipped out of my harness once I was pulled against the elevator doors. I'm okay now but it was scarier than any dog.
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BIP: What are your favorite places in New York?

CHEWIE AND ERNIES TELL US THEIR FAVORITE WEBSITES CHEWIE'S FAVE LINKS Chihuahua Kingdom Three Dog Bakery Take Your Pet The Poop ERNIE'S FAVE LINKS NIMBY! Sam and Me Pets Welcome Taco Bell Dog Page

CHEWIE: Fancy restaurants.
ERNIE: Yeah, mom hides us in our Sherpa bag and then Chewie gets to sleep on her lap under her jacket and napkin and I hang out in my Sherpa bag on the floor. No one ever knows. But Chewie did bark once.
CHEWIE: The waiter's voice was driving me crazy. But everyone at the table started coughing so it was ok.
ERNIE: I also like Riverside Park and sometimes I get to go to Central Park, too.
CHEWIE: I like going to the office. I hang out with the CEO. He and I are like this. I help make major decisions at the company, too. And I get free food all day.
ERNIE: I sit on my Mom's chair while she is working.
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BIP: Do you get to travel?
CHEWIE: I went to Florida once to visit my Grandparents. And I took a road trip to Philadephia once when Mom had a booth at an expo and also a speaking engagement. That was cool. I stayed in a hotel but dogs weren't allowed so we had to sneak around. And I sat on the stage when Mom gave her speech and everyone loved me.
ERNIE: I go to work every day on the subway. Where else did I go? I can't remember.
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BIP: What's been your favorite?
CHEWIE: I think we're going back to Florida in May. It's really sunny. I love that.
ERNIE: I have never flown on a plane so I hope it will be ok.
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BIP: What are some of your travel secrets?
CHEWIE: Enjoy the ride!
ERNIE: Stay in the bag!
CHEWIE: Mom brings all sorts of stuff like a foam bed, towels, newspaper, plastic bags, vitamins, plastic dishes, she has it all planned out.
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BIP: Tell us about your website, CyberChewie.com. What makes you "Cyber," Chewie?
CHEWIE: I'm Cybergrrl's superhero dog!
ERNIE: He's online a lot and he has a website.
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BIP: Do you have any cyberpals?
CHEWIE: I get tons of emails from dogs and cats around the world. They love me.
ERNIE: I don't get too many emails yet. But you can email me through Mom at aps@cgim.com.
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BIP: Let's get back to selfish Chewie's website. How do you feel being left out Ernie?
ERNIE: Someday I'll have a website. But Chewie is the boss so he has to have a site or he wouldn't be Cyberchewie.
CHEWIE: Hey, I put a photo of him on my site, what more do you want?
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BIP: Any plans for CyberErnie.com
CHEWIE: Yeah, yeah, we'll build him one.
ERNIE: Cool!
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BIP: Tell us about your human.
CHEWIE: She is the best Mom in the world, especially when she carries me because I don't feel like walking. And when she gives me cheese to snack on.
ERNIE: She cooks for us every morning and every night. Brown rice, veggies and ground turkey or other meat. She nursed us both back to health and now we are super healthy.
CHEWIE: I also like it when she gives me a lamb bone.
ERNIE: And we sleep with her at night and curl up next to her.
CHEWIE: Oh yeah, and I like it when she gives me organic chicken from the organic restaurant.
ERNIE: I like it when she kisses me.
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BIP: How did she find you?
CHEWIE: I was at Northshore Animal League in a cage next to the dumb big dogs. She and her friend found me and rescued me.
ERNIE: I was rescued by a mother/daughter Chihuahua rescue team and they emailed Mom that they found me and she said she'd keep me for a little while to see if me and Chewie got along. And we did, so she kept me.
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BIP: Has she ever let you write any stories?
CHEWIE: I was writing on my website, but I got busy. She has written stories about me, though.
ERNIE: I'm going to write stories on my website, too.
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BIP: She sounds like a busy person. What are some of your tactics for getting attention?
CHEWIE: I'm cute. I don't have tactics. I just stare at her.
ERNIE: He sometimes whimpers.
CHEWIE: Do not!
ERNIE: I wiggle my butt and wag my tail and it always works.
CHEWIE: I heard you whine the other day.
ERNIE: I had to poo.
CHEWIE: Thank you for sharing, Ernie.
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BIP: Have you ever successfully made her miss a deadline because of your cuteness?
CHEWIE: She can hang out with us and type at the same time so I don't think we made her miss a deadline.
ERNIE: She calls it multi-tasking.
CHEWIE: She works all the time but we can sleep next to her while she works.
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BIP: Has the recent fame of the Taco Bell Chihuahua, caused you any problems on the busy streets of New York?
CHEWIE: Don't get me started.
ERNIE: Well, you see, Mom got Chewie before the craze hit big and then one day, she couldn't walk him without every other person saying "Taco Bell," "Yo Quiero Taco Bell," "Viva Gorditos," "Look, it's the Taco Bell Dog," "Are you rich from all those commercials..."
CHEWIE: Enough already! Let's just say that I look nothing like the Taco Bell dog and leave it at that.
ERNIE: Yeah, I look more like Gidget than Chewie does. Maybe I'll meet her someday and she'll love me.
CHEWIE: Dream on, Ern.
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BIP: One final question, Cybercats, love 'em or hate 'em?
CHEWIE: Love them.
ERNIE: I'm not sure. What are cats? Are they like small dogs, but snobbier? I think I saw one once but I didn't mind.
CHEWIE: Love them. Mom thinks it is because I probably grew up with cats. She says I'm rather cat-like. She could be right, but I'm not saying.
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The above interview took place via e-mail with Aliza Sherman taking dictation for Chewie and Ernie, and Dale Taylor taking dictation for Wyman--who, of course, is just a cartoon character. If you know of a pet or animal that's a true star on the Internet and should be a featured guest send 'em in. Guest stars are not limited to dogs but open to anyone. This interview and illustrations copyright 1999 Not In My Backyard.